In Sanatan, separation of marital life is not possible (divorce), why?

The ultimate interdependence of husband and wife in married life

In Sanatana Dharma, the relationship between husband and wife is completely inseparable from the perspective of religious scriptures. Just as a wife’s abandonment by her husband is not permitted and condemned under any circumstances, similarly, a husband’s abandonment or disdain of his wife is completely inappropriate.

There is a very beautiful narrative in this regard in Markandeya Purana. It is about the beginning of creation. King Uttanpad, son of Maharaj Swayambhuva Mana, the original originator of human creation, had two children. The eldest among them was Mahabhagwat Dhruva – whose fame is world famous. His stepbrother’s name was Uttam. He possessed qualities befitting his name. He treated friends and enemies alike, as well as his own and those around him. He was knowledgeable about Dharma, as fearsome as Yamaraj to the wicked, and as delightful as the moon to the saintly. His wife’s name was Bahula, and he was deeply attached to her. Even in his dreams, his mind was fixed on Bahula. He always followed the queen’s wishes, yet they never went his way. Once, in front of other kings, the queen refused to obey the king’s orders. This enraged the king. He released the queen into the forest. The queen, too, was delighted to be separated from the king. The king began to spend his time caring for his subjects as if they were his own sons.

One day, a Brahmin appeared in his court. He pleaded with the king, claiming that someone had abducted his wife during the night. Upon the king’s inquiry, the Brahmin explained that his wife was cruel, ugly, and harsh-tongued. She had also somewhat passed her prime. Nevertheless, he requested the king to locate his wife and bring her back.

The king said, “O Brahmin, why are you grieving over such a woman? I will find you another wife. Lacking both beauty and modesty, she deserves to be abandoned.”

The Brahmin was an expert in the scriptures. He did not like the king’s words. He said, “King! One must protect one’s wife—this is the supreme command of the scriptures. Failure to protect her results in the birth of a mixed race. A mixed race brings down his ancestors from heaven. Not having a wife is disrupting my daily routine.” Dharma is disappearing. My downfall is inevitable. The offspring I will have from her will be righteous. Therefore, bring my wife back, by whatever means necessary. You are the king; it is your duty to protect your subjects.

The Brahmin’s words had an impact on the king. He thoughtfully resolved his duty. He left home in search of the Brahmin’s wife and began wandering the earth. One day, while wandering in the forest, he came across a sage’s ashram. He met the sage there.The sage welcomed him and asked his disciple to bring him an offering of water. The disciple whispered something into his ear, and the sage, through meditation, learned everything. He offered the king a seat and welcomed him with only conversation. The king became suspicious of the sage’s behavior and politely asked the sage why he had not offered the offering.The sage told that the king has abandoned his wife and has lost his religion, hence he is not worthy of offering.

He said, “King! No matter what the husband’s temperament, it is incumbent upon the wife to always be at his side. Similarly, it is the husband’s duty to nurture even a wife with a wicked disposition.” The king admitted his mistake and asked the sage for information about the Brahmin’s wife. The sage told him that a certain demon had taken her away and that he would find her in a certain forest.He also asked to bring the Brahmin’s wife soon, so that the Brahmin too does not have to become a part of the sins like him day by day.

The king gratefully bowed to the sage and went to the forest he had indicated to find the Brahmin’s wife. She had not yet fallen from her character. The demon had brought her only because the Brahmin, being a learned scholar, performed the ritual of sacrifice in all yagnas. Wherever the demon went, Rakshashoghna would drive him away with mantras, forcing him and his family to starve. The demon knew that no man can perform a yagna without his wife; therefore, to disrupt the Brahmin’s work, he abducted his wife. To please the king, he left the Brahmin’s wife back at her husband’s house and also entered her body and consumed her evil nature, due to which she became completely favorable to her husband.

Now the king became concerned about his wife and went to the sage again to find her. The sage told the king the entire story and, describing the sins of abandoning one’s wife, said to him again, “King! For humans, a wife is the cause of dharma and the fulfillment of desires. Whether Brahmin, Kshatriya, Vaishya, or Shudra, without a wife, he is unfit to perform any religious rituals. Just as it is inappropriate for a wife to abandon her husband, so too is it inappropriate for a man to abandon his wife.

Upon the king’s inquiry, the sage also told him that at the time of the marriage, the Sun, Mars, and Saturn were aspecting him, and Venus and Jupiter were aspecting his wife. At that moment, the Moon and Mercury, which are mutually hostile, were also in his wife’s favor and his wife’s favor. Therefore, he had to suffer the pain of his queen’s disfavor. Before trying to bring back the queen, the king went to the Brahmin Ritwij, whose wife he had got back from the demon, and asked him for a way to make his wife happy.

The Brahmin had the king perform a yagna called Mitravinda. The king then summoned his own wife through the same demon who had abducted the Brahmin’s wife. She was safe in the Naga realm with the King of Snakes, Kapota. The King of Snakes wanted to make her his wife, but his daughter, fearing she would become her mother’s co-wife, kept her hidden, thus maintaining her chastity. Due to the influence of the yajna named Mitravinda, her nature also changed and she now became completely favorable to her husband.

Subsequently, a great and brilliant son was born from her womb, who became famous by the name of Auttam and who was established in the position of Manu in the third Manvantara. This Uttam Manu became so influential that it is written about him in Markandeya Purana – The person who listens to the anecdotes of King Uttam and the story of Uttam’s birth every day, never has hatred towards anyone. Not only this, the one who listens and reads this character never gets separated from his wife, son or relatives.

Several important conclusions emerge from the above anecdote. First, it proves that divorce is unacceptable in Hinduism. The marriage ceremony binds husband and wife in a lifelong, sacred religious bond. A wife is incomplete without her husband, and a husband, without his wife, falls short of religious duties and becomes unfit for any ritual. In performing yagna, the wife’s cooperation is especially essential. The Padma Purana even states that a wife, like her parents and guru, is a pilgrimage site. Just as there is no pilgrimage site greater than her husband for a wife, a virtuous wife is also a pilgrimage site for her husband—an object of respect. Just as a wife’s religious ritual, such as a yagna, is fruitless if performed without her husband’s company, so too is a husband’s religious ritual rendered futile if he performs it without his wife.

In the Padma Purana, in the context of Patni Tirtha, there is the story of a Vaishya named Krikal, who went on a pilgrimage without taking his pious wife Sukla along. However, far from bringing auspicious results, this pilgrimage instead resulted in the bondage of his ancestors. After this, Krikal stayed at home and, with his wife, devoutly performed virtuous rituals such as Shraddha (shraadh) and worship of gods. Pleased, the gods, ancestors, and sages arrived in aircraft and praised the great Krikal and his noble wife. Brahma, Vishnu, and Maheshwara also arrived with their goddesses. All the gods were satisfied with Sati Sukala’s truthfulness. They showered flowers upon the pious couple, granting them any boon they desired, and departed to their respective worlds, praising this devoted wife.

The above description makes it clear how high a status and respect is accorded to a wife in Hinduism and how secure her rights are. Just as it is commanded for a wife that~

duhshilo durbhago vruddho jado rogyadhano̕pi va.

patih stribhirn hatavyah …… …… …… ॥

Whether he is of bad character, unfortunate, old, dull, sick or rich.
Women should not lose their husbands …… …… …… ॥

-(Whether the husband is of cruel nature, unfortunate, old, foolish, sick or poor, the wife should never abandon him), in the same way, it is the duty of the husband not to abandon his wife – even if she is a husky, ugly or a manly woman. Rather, we have made arrangements for divine means like Yagya to soften his cruel nature, and not to separate him through divorce.

The above story also demonstrates the need to match the planets of the bride and groom before marriage. Even when the planets are unfavorable, there is a possibility of conflict between husband and wife. The point is that we have created a system in every way that ensures marital bliss until the end, that husband and wife live as two bodies, one soul, and that, through mutual cooperation, they fulfill their religious, economic, and spiritual needs, ultimately attaining the ultimate goal of human life—salvation or liberation. All the laws of the Dharmashastra have been formulated with this ideal in mind.

The profound study of sociology conducted by our sages, and the ideal system of domestic life created by our scriptures, are unmatched. Yet, it is surprising that our educated society, instead of emulating this ideal system, is eager to embrace Western ideals as exemplary! May God grant wisdom to all.